YOU TOO CAN BE A VICTIM

Do you feel left out? Ignored? Shoved to the side when publicity comes around? Does no one ever riot and loot convenience stores on your behalf?

Don’t worry Victims-R-Us will help you.

How dreadful it is, when the mark of authenticity is to be a victim and all you are is a white middle class student. With no way to claim victim status you are bereft of social standing, the true mark of validity in the progressive liberal community.

Fear not. For those longing for the indispensable cachet of victim status there is now a resource open to all, Victims-R-Us, or as it is sometimes known the Microaggression Project.

Just go to microaggressions.com you will discover that you too have been discriminated against, sneered at, not shown the respect that is your inalienable right. Come to the Microaggression Project and discover that you too have been insulted.

With microaggression you need no longer feel left out, isolated, unappreciated. You too can become a victim. You too are a victim.

At the Microaggression Project you will discover a multitude of aggressions, there is guaranteed to be one which will fit you.

The big ones may already be taken, racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamophobia, transphobia etc., that doesn’t mean that you need be left out. Don’t let the world tell you that you are normal, you too are a victim of something and at microaggressions.com you are sure to find that elusive victim status you have longed for and wreak revenge on those who have held you down for so long.

Do you have difficulty in telling your subjunctives from your gerunds? Prof Val Rus of UCLA asked his students to use better grammar. He was fired for his microaggression, the fascist.

Sympathise with the Palestinians but feel ridiculous wearing a keffiyeh? Students at Harvard last month had stickers from SodaStream, a company with a factory in the West Bank providing 900 hundred jobs for Palestinians, removed from the soda machines because they were insensitive to Palestinian students and their supporters. As Rachel J. Sandalow-Ash, a member of the Harvard College Progressive Jewish Alliance told the student newspaper the Harvard Crimson:

‘These machines can be seen as a microaggression to Palestinian students and their families and like the University doesn’t care about Palestinian human rights,’

Your feelings matter, like.

You don’t need to hunt around for offence any more. Just go to microaggressions.com and you will find that no remark, no matter how innocuous, no matter how trifling, no matter how unintended, is free from discrimination and aggression.

‘That’s my girl!

Said to me by an almost complete stranger after I handed him a beer at a company BBQ. It made me feel like a trained dog.’

Microagression is the use of social norms of behaviour or expression that, whilst made without conscious intent of the user, has the same effect as conscious, intended discrimination. Discrimination is everywhere. Wikipedia cites the use of the pronoun ‘he’ as a micro aggression as it makes the alternatively gendered of this world uncomfortable.

‘While researching the duties of people involved in various levels of government, I notice that every official’s pronoun is male. “His duties include…” “He has the power to…” I’m a future political studies major. This made me feel invisible as a woman who wants to enter the political arena.’

Do those Christian bigots insult you by trying to have an intelligent discussion about your atheism? Grasp the reality, you have been discriminated against and are a genuine victim.

‘WHY are you Atheist?

An everyday question – it’s rare to hear someone asked “Why are you Christian?” or “Why are you Jewish?” but it’s common for atheists to be asked to explain or justify their beliefs.’

Christians provide a rich seam of microaggression.

‘Chatting light-heartedly with a friend about whether Prince William could marry a Catholic (which she is). I joked that it would be cool if he married a Hindu or a Muslim (which I am). She said, “If he can’t marry a Catholic why would he marry a Muslim??” in such a way that made it seem like it would be beyond distasteful and impossible for him to want to marry any Muslim ever.

I was just joking around, but her comment made me feel like she’d labelled me and people like me as unloveable, unwanted, and ‘beneath’ Catholics. I am 20 & it made me feel singled out, hurt.’

Some crass, insensitive people will go to microaggressions.com and laugh at what they will call the inanity of some of the heart-rending stories there. They may even say ‘It’s about time they grew up, entered the real world and found out what real problems are’. Don’t let that deter you, it’s just another instance of microaggression.

Always remember – You too are a victim.

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About Campbell

Now retired but once upon a time a parish minister in Glasgow, before that the South West and initially the Black Isle. Been a prison chaplain and lecturer. Still am constantly bemused by the weird world around me.
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4 Responses to YOU TOO CAN BE A VICTIM

  1. Jennifer says:

    In the last paragraph, your link to the microaggressions website is broken. I feel that this is an expression of your subconscious bias against crass, insensitive people – a much maligned and misunderstood minority. Dude, check your privilege.

    • Campbell says:

      I put this error down to having spent six years in the Royal Air Force and constantly being called ‘Jock’ by other airmen, NCOs and officers. This blatant prejudiced racial stereotyping has left me traumatised and is the cause of all errors, mistakes and wrongdoing on my part. It’s not my fault, it has never been my fault and it never is my fault. And anyway, a big boy did it and ran away.

  2. Robert Cook says:

    Excellent article. Keep up the good work.The gospel is an offence to those with stopped ears shut eyes and a closed mind.

  3. wanpunter says:

    In top form for the New Year Campbell – another winner, Happy New Year

    *Liam McMenemy*

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